3 Tips To Appear Confident When You’re Actually Intimidated

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Can I have a show of hands for all my ladies who know what it’s like to walk into a room full of beautiful working girl bosses and immediately wanted to retreat , shrink, into yourself ; like full on invisible girl mode? No, just me? Hey no shame in my game, I am a proud member of the “almost too socially awkward to function” club. But, no worries if you’re anything like me, I’m here to tell you it gets better, I promise! I am now at the cusp ( less than a week away) of 25 and I am still learning and settling into my skin; loving yourself is an ever evolving journey. I personally believe that confidence is innate, an extension of loving yourself, but it is sometimes hard to tap into . It’s so much more easy to see our flaws and want to pick ourselves apart and trust me, that is a total buzzkill in the confidence department . Think of it this way, confidence is an inner knowing that no matter who, what or why you are who you are and that’s enough. Isn’t that beautiful? I think the sooner we learn to love who we are , right where we are, we will begin to operate as the confident boss move making women that we all have the potential to be. There is just so many benefits to being confident: being able totrust your own judgement , walking in your purpose , not allowing fear to dictate where you go in life and the list goes on and on. But it’s not easy, you say! YOU ARE RIGHT. It’s not easy, sometimes it comes natural to some and foreign to others. I get that. Whether it’s a job or your own reflection , fear can sometimes kill our confidence; it is a powerful deterrent. So I, Captain of the Socially Awkward crew, am here a to give you all 3 Tips To Appear Confident , When You’re Actually Intimidated!

1. | Smile

Sometimes it’s as simple as a chin up, back straight , pearly whites beaming smile. I don’t think I need to beat an already dead horse by reinforcing all benefits smiling has on the body, but it also works wonders for you confidence! This most likely will come as a surprise to those who know me personally because I am notorious for claiming membership in the infamous Resting B* Face syndrome squad, but,  I have learned that a smile can truly go a long way. Sulky and sullen faces can sometimes come across as indifference and it also leaves room for people to make their own assumptions about who you are and your personality; I know, that’s really superficial, but it’s happen. I say beat them to the punch and kill them with a smile; go ahead girl, leave them guessing.

2. | Invest In Yourself

I don’t know about you ladies, but I feel and do my best when I look my best. Superficial? Maybe. But what’s a girl to do? A bad hair-day and a chipped nail are sometimes enough to send my confidence levels plummeting and screaming for a re-up, so I am always sure to take care of my appearance, on the inside and the out. After all, first impressions are everything, right? No, I am not saying that your confidence should be dependent on superficial coverings or accessories, because let’s face it, we all have and are allowed off days. I want you all to feel beautiful and worth it , with or without, all the extras , but I’d be lying if I said a cute pink lip doesn’t put an extra pep in my step. Keep in mind, your appearance isn’t the only way to invest in yourself! Seeking higher education, being aware and proactive with your mental health and establishing a fitness routines are all ways that you can invest in yourself today that will lead to a more confident you! Knowing is power!

3. | Fake It , Til You Make It

Because sometimes you can do Tip# 1 and #2 all day and still feel ________ *insert negative adjective here* , which pretty much amounts to feeling like“ not enough.”  Lived there, moved out ; you should too. It is perfectly alright to be a bit quirky and awkward and not always feel like this dashing socialite, but that doesn’t mean you can’t act like one! This method is what most would label “ Faking it until you make it”, but I believe in the power of words and the ability to speak our own realities into existence. You could be a phone call away from your dream job, or right across the bar from your dream guy, but none of that matters if you never have the courage to speak and claim what’s yours.   Sometimes you have to do whatever it takes, even if that means faking it.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that confidence isn’t like Maybelline, you are most definitely born with it. It’s not a coverup or facade it’s the way you walk, the way you articulate and the manner in which you carry yourself. So do me a favor. Close your eyes, exhale and imagine what your life would be like if you weren’t afraid to chase your dreams. Now open your eyes and GO.

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